Red Flag Index
The Men To Be Hunted
The Gym Selfie Guy
Translation: He loves himself. He might not have space to love you.
Explanation: The mirror flex, the clenched jaw, the phone held just so — it’s less a profile and more a thirst trap. Swipe left unless you want to date his biceps.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
No Bio, Just Pics
Translation: He's not serious, he's just scrolling.
Explanation: If he can’t even put effort into 140 characters, he’s not putting effort into you either.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Two Blurry Photos — From a Decade Ago
Translation: He's hiding something. Probably a beer belly and a bad attitude.
Explanation: Pixelated? Group shot? Far away? That’s not a mystery, it’s a mask.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
“6 Feet Tall” (But Isn’t)
Translation: Subtract 2 inches. Sometimes 4.
Explanation: If he says 6’, he’s probably 5’9. If he says 5’11, he’s 5’7 and lying. Just measure his honesty by the inch.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Duck Face + Peace Sign
Translation: He’s 13 inside. And not in a cute way.
Explanation: If he’s giving duck face and throwing peace signs, run. If it’s in the same photo? Girl. RUN.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
The Towel Pic Guy
Translation: He's not fresh out of the shower — he’s fresh out of self-awareness.
Explanation: No decent man is posting a steamy towel selfie unless he’s angling for a modeling gig. And if it’s paired with six other selfies? 🚩
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Every Photo = Drink in Hand
Translation: You’re dating happy hour.
Explanation: If every pic has a solo cup, whiskey glass, or beer can, he’s not “social” — he’s pickled.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
The Copy-Paste Essay Texter
Translation: He sent that exact message to 37 women today.
Explanation: If the opener is longer than your college thesis and sounds like a LinkedIn cover letter, it’s not for you. It’s for everyone.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Because you already know better — you just needed someone to say it out loud.
These aren’t just quirks. These are patterns. Personality previews. Emotional mugshots in profile form.
They’re the guys who send mass “Hey babe” messages, brag about their height like it’s a personality trait, and proudly pose next to rental cars or fish they didn’t even catch.
You don’t need to see how it plays out. You don’t need to give him a chance.
You need to trust the signs, swipe left, and stop thinking your empathy will fix his chaos.
Save the heartache.
Save the confusion.
Swipe like your future self already knows better — because she does.
*These photos are AI-generated, obviously as I don't really want to blast guys...that's next section. Also, I hope you can tell because words are spelled wrong and I gave up.
“Hey Babe” on Message One
Translation: Love bombing with discount energy.
Explanation: Pet names before you’ve even met = emotional manipulation 101. You are not his babe. You are his template.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
The Profile with a Fake Name
Translation: GSP? Is that your name or a government agency?
Explanation: If he won’t even use his real first name, assume you’re talking to a married man, a scammer, or a walking red flag with WiFi.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Unemployed & Unbothered
Translation: He’s free 24/7… because he has nowhere to be.
Explanation: Listen, times are tough. But if he lists “chillin’” as his full-time job and can’t tell you what he’s working on? He’s your future dependent, not your partner.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
The Aspiring Actor (Still Waiting on His Break)
Translation: You’ll come second to his reel — if you're lucky.
Explanation: If he says “actor” but his IMDb credits include “Man in Crowd” three times, just know: you’re dating a dream, not a man.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
The Scratched-Out Ex in His Photos
Translation: Emotionally unavailable and artistically petty.
Explanation: If you’re still posting pictures of your ex with her face scribbled out… sir, therapy is down the hall and to the left.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Pics with Celebrities
Translation: Clout-chaser energy.
Explanation: We get it, you once stood behind someone from Entourage at a gas station. If your personality is “I know famous people,” you probably don’t know yourself.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
No Teeth, No Hair, No Body Pics
Translation: He’s catfishing with shadows.
Explanation: This isn’t about being hot — it’s about being honest. If we can’t see your face, your smile, or your current self, we’re not interested in solving your mystery.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
“Just Ask” in the Bio
Translation: I bring nothing to the table, and I won’t even try.
Explanation: If his entire bio is “just ask,” it means: “I have no personality and expect you to carry the convo.”
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Posing with Dogs That Aren’t Theirs
Translation: Bait and switch — but with puppies.
Explanation: If you’re using someone else’s dog to look more dateable, what else are you faking? Emotional availability? Job title? Your last name?
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Over 50, Says He’s 34
Translation: Math isn’t mathing.
Explanation: He’s not 34, he’s 54 with a spray tan and a dream. And he’s only saying that because you set your age range to 35. Creep.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
No Solo Photos — Only Group Shots
Translation: It’s never the hot friend.
Explanation: If every photo is a group photo, he’s either insecure or hiding. Probably both. You’re not solving a puzzle, you’re dating.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Deep V or 3 Buttons Undone
Translation: His chest has main character energy.
Explanation: Confidence is cute. Cleavage isn’t — on him. If he’s wearing a shirt that screams “look at me,” he probably needs the attention more than you do.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Halloween Costumes
Translation: Depends on the costume… but it’s usually a no.
Explanation: One pic dressed as a banana is fine. Four? That’s a lifestyle. Swipe with caution.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫 (unless it's the Joker… then 🚫🚫🚫)
Rave Photos While Tripping
Translation: His serotonin is still somewhere at Burning Man.
Explanation: If his profile looks like a screenshot from a 3AM Instagram story, he’s not dating — he’s still coming down.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
“WYD?” or 👀 as a First Message
Translation: Minimal effort, maximum audacity.
Explanation: If his entire personality fits into two characters or one emoji, that’s all you’re getting from him — ever.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Married or “Open Relationship”
Translation: Side piece energy.
Explanation: You are not an emotional support human. These men want you to co-star in a secret. Don’t.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Jean Capris
Translation: There’s no saving this.
Explanation: Style choices aren’t everything… unless you’re a grown man in denim capris. Then they’re everything.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
“Self-Employed at Self-Employed”
Translation: He’s unemployed with WiFi.
Explanation: If he can’t even fake a job title, he’s not ready for a relationship — he’s barely ready for responsibility.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Fur Pimp Coat (And It’s Not Halloween)
Translation: Delusions of grandeur — and velvet.
Explanation: If he’s rocking faux fur like he’s auditioning for Love & Hip Hop: Suburbs Edition, run. That coat has seen some things, and none of them are good.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Filters and Photoshopped Abs
Translation: Instagram vs. reality. And reality’s losing.
Explanation: Men who Facetune their bodies are one protein shake away from becoming their own catfish. If it’s not real, neither is he.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
New Kids on the Block Cosplay
Translation: Backward cap. Sleeveless hoodie. Midlife crisis in full effect.
Explanation: He’s not in a boy band. He just never emotionally graduated from 2004.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Shirtless in Every Photo
Translation: The only thing deeper than his V-cut is his need for validation.
Explanation: We get it. You do crunches. But if your abs are your entire personality, what are we gonna talk about after dinner?
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
“Looking for Something Casual” (But He’s HOT)
Translation: Don’t.
Explanation: You think you’re the exception. You’re not. If he says he’s only looking for something casual, believe him. And know that five other women also thought they could change him.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
“Open-Minded” in His Bio
Translation: He’s got a kink he’s easing you into.
Explanation: This phrase is code for “into some stuff I’m not comfortable saying out loud yet.” Also: probably has commitment issues and erectile dysfunction.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
“Still Figuring It Out”
Translation: He knows exactly what he wants — he just doesn’t want it with you.
Explanation: This line isn’t innocent. It’s a soft launch for ghosting.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Only Uses WhatsApp
Translation: Nigerian Prince energy.
Explanation: If the only way to reach him is WhatsApp, chances are he’s not in your country… or on your side. Scammer vibes: activated.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
One Arm Behind His Head in Bed Pose
Translation: Red flag and ick.
Explanation: This pose gives creepy, overconfident, and… strangely vulnerable? We’re uncomfortable and we don’t know why.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
The Podcast Bro
Translation: He's recording... not listening.
Explanation: If his entire personality is built around his podcast, prepare to be interviewed, interrupted, and intellectualized while he dodges all your emotional needs. This man thinks his voice is a brand.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
The Club Every Weekend Guy
Translation: Peter Pan with bottle service.
Explanation: If all his photos involve strobe lights, DJ booths, and drinks in both hands, he’s not looking for love — he’s looking for last call.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
The Crypto Guy
Translation: Your date starts with charts and ends with bankruptcy.
Explanation: If he brings up Bitcoin before asking how your day was, he’s not emotionally investing — he’s just trying to pitch.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Dirty Mirror Selfie
Translation: Bro, if your mirror is crusty, imagine your sheets.
Explanation: Clean your space. Clean your reflection. Clean your act.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Vegas Pics with Street Strippers
Translation: That’s not his bachelor party. That’s his personality.
Explanation: If his highlight reel is half-naked women in feather boas on Fremont Street, just know: his maturity level is still stuck in the VIP section.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
No Pictures at All
Translation: This man is either married, wanted, or both.
Explanation: It’s not mystery. It’s misdirection. If there’s no face, no profile, and no trace — he’s not here for romance, he’s here to disappear.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
The Fish Pic
Translation: “I can hold a living thing and smile.”
Explanation: We get it. You caught something once. But unless you’re dating in Bass Pro Shops, this isn’t the flex you think it is.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Flashy Car Guy
Translation: Compensation Station.
Explanation: If he’s leaning against a sports car in every pic — and definitely doesn’t own it — you’re not dating a man, you’re dating his rental fantasy.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
“Here for a Good Time, Not a Long Time”
Translation: He ghosted you before you even matched.
Explanation: This guy is emotionally unavailable and lazy enough to write it in his bio. Respect the honesty, but leave him on read.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
Excessive Emoji Use (Eggplants, Tongues, Fire)
Translation: He texts like a 7th grader who just discovered Snapchat.
Explanation: If his bio looks like a produce aisle exploded, you’re not getting deep conversations — just unsolicited pics and dry responses.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
“My Kids Come First” — And That’s the Whole Bio
Translation: He’s not looking for a partner. He’s looking for a babysitter.
Explanation: Of course his kids come first. But if there’s no space for who you are or what he’s about? You’re about to be background noise.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
“No Drama” in the Bio
Translation: He is the drama.
Explanation: Men who say this are always the ones who’ll flip out over a late text and call their ex crazy — while still texting her.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
“Sapiosexual” in the Bio
Translation: He thinks using big words makes him deep.
Explanation: He just discovered the word “intellectual” and is now convinced he’s the main character in Good Will Hunting. He’s not.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
“I’m Bad at This App” Line
Translation: He’s bad at texting, following through, and dating.
Explanation: This is a preloaded excuse for ghosting. He’s not bad at the app — he’s bad at effort.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
90% of His Photos Are His Kids
Translation: He doesn’t know where the boundaries are.
Explanation: This isn’t a co-parenting casting call. If you can’t tell if you’re dating him or his children, hard pass.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
“Must Love Dogs” but No Dog in Sight
Translation: He Googled “things women like.”
Explanation: If you’re going to use dogs to get swipes, have a dog. Don’t borrow a vibe you can’t back up.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
“I Don’t Like Talking About Myself”
Translation: Get ready to carry the convo — forever.
Explanation: You’ll be doing all the emotional lifting while he sits there acting mysterious. Bro, it’s giving cardboard.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
Pics with His Mom That Look Like a Date
Translation: Mommy issues — party of one.
Explanation: If they’re holding each other like prom dates, you’re not walking into a relationship — you’re walking into an Oedipus subplot.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
The Cop
Translation: Control issues with a badge.
Explanation: Listen, there are good ones. But dating a cop often means you’re also dating his authority complex, night shifts, and emotional repression. Proceed with caution, and maybe a therapist on speed dial.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
The Firefighter
Translation: Hot… until he ghosts.
Explanation: Yes, he saves lives. No, he won’t text you back for three days. Firefighters are adored, overbooked, and surrounded by women fawning over their calendar pics. Are you ready to be #17 on that list?
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫
The Pilot
Translation: Long-distance delusion with turbulence ahead.
Explanation: If you like being love-bombed on layovers and then left on read at cruising altitude, buckle up. The pilot lifestyle is fun… until you realize he’s got a girl in every city.
Swipe Left Rating: 🚫🚫🚫
The Savagery
Where dating profiles go to die — and we do the honors, one roast at a time.
The DealbreakHERS
🚩 Filter Overload
Every photo is face-tuned, sparkle-dusted, or cartoonified beyond recognition.
"If there’s not one unfiltered pic, I assume she’s hiding something."
UnExpert Tip: Throw in a natural shot. The right guy wants you, not your Bitmoji twin.
🚩 No Friends, Just Selfies
Every photo is solo — no group shots, no social context.
"Does she have friends? Or is this her full-time gig?"
UnExpert Tip: Including just one or two social pics helps you look more real and less… self-indulged.
🚩 The Fantasy Man Checklist
Your bio lists everything you want in a man: emotionally intelligent, ambitious, self-aware, not intimidated by strong women.
"She sounds exhausting. Like I have to pass a test just to say hi."
UnExpert Tip: Save the resume for later. Let your personality shine, not your expectations.
🚩 Political Bios
Your profile’s full of slogans, acronyms, or "Swipe left if you voted for..."
"She’s leading with aggression — not connection."
UnExpert Tip: It’s okay to have values, but don’t turn your dating bio into a debate podium. Rainbows and butterflies, ladies!
🚩 The “Mom of the Year” Bio
You write about how your kids are your whole world, your top priority, and your biggest accomplishment.
"Of course they are — why are you performing it?"
UnExpert Tip: You don’t need to prove you’re a good parent. Just be one. Your vibe will say the rest.
🚩 All the Alcohol Pics
Every other photo has a wine glass, champagne toast, or solo drink selfie.
"Is she fun or lowkey dependent?"
UnExpert Tip: One cute happy hour shot is fine. Seven? Gives “thirsty” a whole new meaning.
🚩 Posing Like an Influencer
You’re in a gown on a yacht, or perfectly posed in front of a luxury hotel like an Instagram ad.
"She’s gorgeous, but looks like she’s dating her own reflection."
UnExpert Tip: Glam is fine, but balance it with a little authenticity. You’re more than your best angle.
🚩 Never Smiling
Your entire profile is cheekbones, duck lips, and eyes locked in a seductive trance.
"Hot, but no warmth. No idea who she actually is."
UnExpert Tip: Smile once. It says you’re human and can laugh — not just model through life.
The stuff that makes him swipe left — even when you think you're crushing it.
These are the dating profile traits men actually report as instant turn-offs.
We’re not here to shame — we’re here to course-correct with style.
You don’t have to agree with all of them. But if your dating profile is giving unintentional red flag… consider this your wake-up call with a wink.
UnExpert Rule: If you can't laugh at your own red flags, you're not ready to date someone else's.
*Like the last section, these are totes AI-Generated, because I think they are funnier.
🚩 The “Don’t Want” Bio
You list everything you hate: no liars, cheaters, broke men, narcissists, flakes, or mama’s boys.
"She’s been hurt and it’s showing."
UnExpert Tip: Fun and flirty wins every time. A bitter checklist reads like a breakup rant, not a bio.
🚩 The Dog Mom Ultimatum
Your profile is your dog. Every picture. Every sentence. And your bio says, “My dog will always come first.”
"So I’m just competing with your pet?"
UnExpert Tip: Be a proud dog mom — but leave space for a partner, not just paw prints.
🚩 Sapiosexual Energy
You say you’re only into deep thinkers and intellectuals… but there’s zero substance to back it up.
"She sounds fake deep and kinda pretentious."
UnExpert Tip: If you crave smart conversation, show what excites your mind — not just the label.
🚩 Gym Pics Only
Every single photo is at the gym. Leg day, mirror selfies, protein shakes, sports bra flexes.
"She looks like fitness is her whole identity — I don’t even know what she looks like outside a squat rack."
UnExpert Tip: If you're into fitness, great. But mix it up. Otherwise it feels like you’re dating your glutes — not a guy.
If you couldn't tell the list was similar. We’re all out here dodging the same damn red flags in different fonts.
Red Flag Translator
The classics. The clichés. The emotionally bankrupt one-liners that sound cute on the surface — but underneath? Full-scale warning signs in lowercase letters. This is where we decode the phrases that get repeated across dating profiles, text messages, and awkward first dates — and reveal what they really mean. From “I’m not ready for a relationship” to “Let’s see where it goes,” the Red Flag Translator helps you spot the BS before you catch feelings.
Because if he says, “I’m bad at texting,”
what he means is, “I’m not texting you.”
🟥 RED FLAG TRANSLATOR
📣 What He Says:
“I’ve been hurt in the past.”
🕵️♀️ What He Actually Means:
“I’m emotionally unavailable, but I want sympathy and attention without actually addressing my trauma.”
🔻 UnExpert Tip:
If someone’s trauma defines their personality, it’s time to walk. You’re not their therapist.
🟥 RED FLAG TRANSLATOR
📣 What He Says:
“No drama.”
🕵️♀️ What He Actually Means:
“I’ve never taken accountability in my life, and the second you have feelings, I’ll call you crazy.”
🔻 UnExpert Tip:
When a man says “no drama,” he’s usually the one bringing it. It’s not a boundary — it’s a preemptive gaslight.
🟥 RED FLAG TRANSLATOR
📣 What He Says:
“I’m not a big fan of small talk…”
🕵️♀️ What He Actually Means:
“I’m emotionally lazy, and I’m not interested in actually getting to know you beyond surface-level questions that require no effort.”
🔻 UnExpert Tip:
If someone can’t handle small talk, they can’t handle real talk. It’s code for I’m not actually invested in this date.
