How This Mess Got Started

It’s About This Chick Who...

Not because it’s cute.
Because it’s true.
Because she saw the crash coming and still got in the car.

Because she took the hit — and now she has the receipts, the rage, the wisdom, and the voice.

Sarah Melland is your self-proclaimed “How NOT To” girl.
She does your stupid mistakes so you don’t have to — and then turns them into viral dating blogs, savage scripts, and brutal one-liners that hurt only because they’re true.

Raised in the small town of Altoona, Wisconsin, Sarah studied Creative Writing and Mass Communications and later founded Ripe Melland Media, proving that sometimes the “messy girl” is actually the mastermind. What started as a series of heartbreaks became a modern dating movement.

Now based in Los Angeles, Melland researches relationship red flags, toxic dating patterns, and the psychology behind our worst romantic decisions. She’s not here to coach you. She’s here to warn you. And maybe make you laugh so hard you spit wine on your phone.

She’s the author of The Breakup Band Aid, co-creator of A Single Girl’s Guide to IVF, and has ghostwritten or consulted on multiple award-worthy screenplays. Her work dissects modern dating with a surgical edge and unfiltered humor.

Her mission?
To empower women through honesty, dark humor, and all the wrong turns she barely survived.

"She didn’t beg for her job back. She built an empire instead.
They thought she was spiraling. She was strategizing.
Turns out, being underestimated is the best motivation."

And yes, she gives back too. 10% of all book sales are donated to Leslie's Helping Hands, supporting survivors of domestic abuse who flee with nothing — and deserve everything.