What Women Need to Know to Safely Escape a Violent Partner: A High-Lethality Domestic Violence Guide

To domestic violence survivors:
You are never alone in the fight for freedom.

For nearly two decades, Penny Waldroup has been one of the strongest advocates for women escaping abuse. Since the night of October 13, 2006, she has fought for stricter laws and dedicated her life to helping survivors find safety. She has driven across state lines, delivered women to shelters with nothing but the clothes on their backs, and stayed awake for 24 hours to make sure someone else survived the night.

If you called Penny and said you were in danger, she would be there in a heartbeat. She would find you a safe space, food, water and shelter, and she would never ask for anything in return.

That is what true selflessness looks like.

I’ve known Penny for almost ten years, and she is one of the most compassionate, determined, and selfless people I’ve ever met. Even when she has little left to give, she shows up for others. Through her nonprofit Leslie’s Helping Hands, she has helped countless women escape violent partners, often risking her own safety in the process.

Today, Penny is the one who needs help.

Her ex-husband brutally attacked her with a machete — a crime that is not “just domestic violence,” but attempted homicide. And now, he is scheduled to be released from prison in the coming months.

Penny is fighting to secure relocation, safety, and long-term protection, but she cannot do it alone.

If you can donate or even share her story, it could save her life:
🔗 https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-penny-find-safety-and-peace

This blog is for Penny and for every survivor who has been told “there’s nothing we can do.”
Because that is not the truth.

This Is a High-Lethality Case. A Completely Different System of Protection

Most people don’t know this, but standard domestic violence services are not designed for survivors whose partners have used weapons, attempted murder, threatened homicide, or demonstrated extreme violence. These survivors belong in a different category entirely:

High-Lethality Domestic Violence.

High-lethality survivors qualify for resources, relocation programs, and emergency protections that most hotlines, shelters, and entry-level advocates never mention.

Penny, and survivors like her, should not be routed through “call a shelter” loops.
They should be escalated into the attempted-homicide victim system immediately.

Below is the guide every high-risk survivor needs.

1. Request a LAP Assessment (Lethality Assessment Program)

The single most important phrase a survivor can use is:

“I need a LAP assessment.
My abuser attempted homicide.
This is a high-lethality case.”

This triggers a completely different response protocol.

It allows advocates and law enforcement to:

• elevate the case

• reroute survivors to high-risk specialists

• bypass standard DV shelter processes

• initiate advanced safety planning

Most survivors never hear about LAP, but it exists specifically for extreme-risk cases like Penny’s.

2. Access State Relocation Assistance (Not Through Shelters)

Every U.S. state has a Criminal Injuries Compensation Program that provides relocation funding for high-risk domestic violence survivors. This includes victims of:

• attempted homicide

• aggravated assault with a weapon

• stalking with credible threat

• domestic violence involving extreme violence

These funds cover:

• emergency relocation

• deposits and first month’s rent

• transportation costs

• temporary safehousing

• urgent safety needs

To access it, survivors must ask for: “Relocation Assistance for High-Risk or High-Lethality Victims.”

Most shelter workers are not trained to discuss these programs, which is why survivors remain unaware they exist.

3. Request Confidential Safehousing (Not Public Shelters)

High-lethality survivors often cannot safely stay in standard domestic violence shelters.

Instead, they qualify for:

• undisclosed safehouses

• confidential crisis apartments

• law enforcement–supervised locations

• church-funded secure placements

To access these options, survivors must say: “Because this is attempted homicide, I cannot stay in a public shelter.
I need confidential placement for high-risk victims.”

This sentence immediately redirects them into programs not listed publicly.

4. Request a Victim-Witness Advocate Through the DA or AG

Survivors of attempted homicide can request:

• a victim-witness coordinator

• direct assistance from the District Attorney

• input into parole-release safety planning

• relocation resources

• ongoing monitoring

Survivors should ask for: “A victim-witness advocate for safety relocation.”

This bypasses entry-level DV services entirely.

5. Leave the City or County Before the Abuser’s Release

In high-lethality situations, remaining local is extremely dangerous.

Survivors should:

• leave the city

• ideally leave the county

• and in extreme cases, leave the state

This is allowed, legal, and supported under high-risk victim relocation programs. Survivors should also enroll in the Address Confidentiality Program (ACP) in their state to remove their new address from all public records.

6. Survivors Do Not Have to Rely on Friends for Money. The System Has Funding

This is one of the most important truths: The survivor is NOT financially dependent on friends or community donations. State and federal systems provide:

• relocation funds

• emergency safety grants

• rental and deposit assistance

• travel funding

• ongoing victim support

These programs exist because high-lethality survivors cannot safely navigate life without relocation.

7. Word-for-Word Scripts Survivors Can Use to Get the Correct Help

These scripts work in every U.S. state and are the fastest way to bypass untrained gatekeepers.

Script 1 — For Any Hotline: LAP Escalation

“Hi, my name is [first name]. I’m a survivor of attempted homicide.
My abuser used a weapon.
I need a LAP assessment and high-risk safety planning, not general DV services.
Please escalate me to a state-level advocate or lethality program.”

Script 2 — For State Relocation Funding

“I’m calling about relocation assistance for high-risk victims.
I survived attempted homicide and cannot safely remain where I am.
What documentation do you need, and how quickly can relocation be processed?”

Script 3 — For Confidential Safehousing

“Because my case involves attempted homicide, I cannot stay in a public shelter.
I need confidential or undisclosed placement for high-risk survivors.”

Script 4 — For DA/AG Victim-Witness Protection

“My case involves attempted homicide.
I need a victim-witness advocate to help with safety planning and relocation before the offender is released.”

Script 5 — Address Confidentiality Program

“I need to enroll in the Address Confidentiality Program so my address is not publicly accessible for safety reasons.”

8. National Domestic Violence Resources for All U.S. States

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE
24/7 | Confidential | Connects survivors to high-lethality programs

RAINN – National Sexual Assault Hotline
1-800-656-HOPE

StrongHearts Native Helpline
1-844-762-8483

National Safe Shelter Network
Nationwide database of shelters and confidential placements

These lines can direct survivors to the correct programs in their state.

Penny Has Saved Countless Women. Now She Needs Us.

For decades, Penny has driven across states, opened her home, and fought for women society forgot.

Now she is the one in danger.
Now she is the one who needs protection.
Now she is the one who needs a community behind her.

If you can donate or even share her story, it could save her life:
🔗 https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-penny-find-safety-and-peace

To every survivor reading this:

You are not alone.
You have options.
You deserve to live.
And there are more protections available to you than you have ever been told.