Not your love coach. Your reality check.

I Do the Dumb Sh*t in Dating So You Don't Have to...

Unfiltered stories, savage truths, red flags, script sales, and the kind of dating advice your therapist would be scared to give.

Red flags, real talk, and all the dating disasters you thought only happened to you—until now.

The Red Flag Index

These aren’t just pet peeves. These are the certified red flags of modern dating—gathered from disasters, mistakes, and a few tequila-fueled therapy sessions at the bar.

The Red Flag Index is your ultimate archive of excuses, bio blunders, and toxic patterns dressed up as personality.

Only Two Pixelated Photos

Blurry, outdated, and possibly taken on a flip phone.

Translation: I don't look like what I looked like back then.

Duck Face + Peace Sign

Backwards hat, messy room, MySpace energy.

Translation: I am still living in my Varsity Quarterback days.

Over-50 Claiming He’s 34

Dad jeans. Been 34 for 18 years. Denial is strong.

Translation: I want young women, who filter me out.

The Dirty Mirror Offender

Covered in toothpaste smudges and desperation.

Translation: If his mirror is that dirty, can you imagine his sheets?

The Ultimate Fish Pic

Holding a giant fish like it’s a flex. You know the exact pic.

Translation: He fillets salmon but won’t eat it.

The Car Guy

Posing like the car is the main personality trait.

Translation: Weekend Rental Energy.

Dating Disasters

These Posts Are Funnier When You’re Not Living Them.

I Wrote It So You Could Survive It.

I’m not here to give advice. I’m here to hand you receipts. These books are the aftermath — raw, hilarious, and way too relatable. From breakups and bad decisions to red flags and revenge fantasies, I wrote it all down so you could read it, laugh, heal, and never text him again. Welcome to Your Dating UnExpert — where mistakes turn into money, trauma turns into power, and your next chapter starts right f*cking now.

SEE MORE >

Based on True Events. Unfortunately.

The Breakup Band Aid

Genre: Comedy / Dramedy
Logline:
Sophia Mason, a psychology major, develops a 12-step program to help get over a breakup for her doctoral thesis. When a group of zany characters intensify the program, Sophia sees her "perfect" life, crumble before her eyes.

Donor 007718

Genre: Dark Comedy / Drama
Logline:
Approaching fifty and desperate to start a family, a kind-hearted professor's life is turned upside down when his girlfriend rejects his proposal, leading him on a tumultuous journey of surrogacy and unexpected romance with his egg donor.

Manipulation

Genre: True Crime Drama
Logline:
A man is about to stand trial for the most gruesome murder in Tennessee history. In this gripping courtroom thriller. As each witness takes the stand, the web of lies, cover-up, and twists leave you wondering, “What really happened on the frightful night of Friday, October 13th, 2006?”

The Couriers

Genre: Crime / Thriller
Logline:
A disturbed young woman is murdered. Police are quick to arrest a suspect, but only then do the problems arise as the evidence is gathered and the strange world of the victim unravels.

Every disaster comes with a plot twist. These are mine — and now they’re yours if the price is right.

Slide Into My Inbox

Whether you’re looking to buy a script, pitch a project, license a book, feature me in your next article, or need dating advice from someone who’s made every mistake — twice — you’re in the right place. I don’t waste time, I don’t sugarcoat, and I don’t entertain bad pitches or worse exes. If it’s smart, savage, or pays well, I’ll probably say yes.